Listen more, speak less

I am a listener. I listen more than I speak. My first training ground for this noble profession was during my college years when I had to stay in a house with my best friend and bosom. I must say that the three of us love speaking our thoughts, opinions, and experiences at the SAME time. We seemed to all love speaking rather listening. One time, I just set aside my stories and command myself to listen to their stories. From then on, I started to see the beauty and essence of listening.

I listen more to people’s stories but I rarely share my stories. And if you happen to know my stories, then you must be a SOMEONE in my life. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not hiding too much secrets. I’m not just used in sharing all things in my life to ALL the people. But lately – I’m starting to unhide the inner me through writing. But only the inner me that people might get some good lessons. I have a friend who seemed to be so reserved but speak her thoughts. She learned to open up her adventures, write them down, tell it to her friends, and open up. And I adore her for that.

I love true stories when listening. Not gossips. I read somewhere about a pastor’s preaching on a story of a non-christian gossiper turned to a “Christian” gossiper. When she was a non-christian, she would speak about stories of a certain person to a certain group of persons – normal gossips scenario. When she became Christian and got to know more of Christ, she was so conscious of worldy gossips. Thus, avoiding gossips she was into before. So when she learned about a brethren talking about someone’s fault, she would say to a group of person, “let’s pray for her….blah blah blah” . Did you see the difference? Now the question is do they have a difference? No, they don’t have ANY difference. Both scenarios are gossips. I am GUILTY of this and NOT putting an exemption to myself. But day by day, I am taking note of this principle: If you are not part of the problem or the solution, do not involve yourself.

I hate to listen to destructive criticisms. Corrections are highly needed in any field and scenarios whether you are in a school, office, or church. In same way, correctors are everywhere and greatly needed. These could be your church leaders, mentors, team leaders, colleague, friends, or anyone around you. It feels good when someone corrects you because it means that that someone likes you to be better. That’s why I like corrections or constructive criticisms. On the other hand, I hate destructive criticisms. I see it as useless, nonsense, and unhelpful. Sometimes, a destructive criticism became constructive and a constructive criticism became destructive criticism – without proper delivery. A simple technique may apply: Talk FIRST to the person involve. As much as possible, make it a close door discussion. If it didn’t work – make the necessary steps to move up in the ladder of authority.

Listening is important. In communication, you must first learn to value and learn listening to effectively communicate. In friendship and relationship, it gives way to understanding that we mostly missed when we are too rush to deliver our words. Slowing down and listening attentively gives way to the other person to better express his heart.

Listen more, speak less. As Oliver Wendell Holmes said; “It is the province of knowledge to speak and the privilege of wisdom to listen.”


Wishes on Christmas

Less than 50 days before christmas so I would be making a short list of my Little Christmas Wishes! 😀

1. Guitar – this is a must have before november ends.
Gusto gusto ko ng guitar. Manong already give me a crash course about guitars. I decided on what I want. I have money. But there was a sudden shift of saving priority.

2. Earphone – the so desired earfone. Yung plug-ins. Philips earphone is a plus!!! 😀
May NOKIA earphone ako pero gusto ko ng PHILIPS earphone. 😦

3. Purple simple dress or cuty attire for December Anniversary
Every special event, may new dress ako. This year is so special. My friends would be coming back from different country and this is so special that I want a special dress.

4. Night out/Outing with Batch 04
Special season with special friends. Five of my friends are working on missions on different countries. Two are in local churches. Two or more added numbers to graduates. Dapat lang na may bonggang reunion kami db? 🙂

5. reunion with my anakers/daughters!
Ngyari na ang semi-reunion last weekend. I’m fine with that. Pero pag bonggang reunion na super complete sila na 5. Iiyak ako kay Lord, ng sobra! 🙂

6. Watch the FIREWORKS! (+ kasama manood)
Oh yeah! Yun lng. Yung pwede ko makasama, hindi ata pwede.

7. Photo walk – I mean kahit simple lang na masubukan ko ang skill ko. Sayang naman ang cam/bag tag ko as a photographer. Hehehe. Kasama na rin dito ang wish na mgkaron ako ng photo underwater (sayang naman ang dicapac, hehe).
Gawin ko na rin to mag-isa kasi yung pwede ko makasama, hindi na uli ata pwede. Boo! Pero feasible pa rin ang photowalk kahit alone! Yey!

8. Freedom Shout sa Freedom park or Sunken Garden.
Isang sigaw! 😀

9. Morning Jog with any of my friend. Plus na rin yung La Mesa Ecopark pasyal.
Calling ate sophie. Sana matuloy ang ating morning jog, please! 🙂

10. A more blessed noche buena and media noche with family. 🙂
Of course, a gathering na may handa na from glory to glory every year!

The One That Got Away

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with… and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequentially become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re
ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully, you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it
doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your
marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been”, but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is you “the one that got away.”

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

“Everything happens for a reason…”